Check In

This is me giving you a 10 second hug and asking about your level of compassion (or just regular) fatigue. Are you willing to take a look at that? How are you doing right now?

For myself, I’m filing this year(+) under “everything happens too much.” My compassion fatigue is high. It’s moved from “I request the cone of silence” to “ice palace for one, please!” 

I told my husband last week that I was ready to put in my two-weeks notice at my current gig called motherhood. He understands, but he’s up against it too. Everybody is. The struggle is real. How do we get through?

We’ve been working hard with our family to support our well-being:
practicing feeling our feelings instead of shutting them down, stuffing, or ignoring them,
working out healthy boundaries with each other and our bbs,
going to AA (Ben),
doing yoga (me),
taking vitamins,
getting outside every day (thanks, dog!),
hearing and sharing stories of how God is taking care of us and His people everywhere,
taking long, hot baths,
exfoliating (really. This makes a big difference for me.),
cooking,
playing games and reading and watching movies with the kids,
trying to let people know we care about them,
therapy,
trying to keep the hibernation station from looking like an actual bear’s den (polar vortex, anyone?)...
but this is survival mode. We are surviving- sometimes just barely- and sometimes we don’t want to. Lately there’s been a strong pull to check out, or run away. Personally, I’ve been coping by binge-watching travel and tiny house and mountain-biking channels on youtube, drinking Moscow Mules, and shopping for new bedding.
Homelife in the environment of 2020/2021 is taking its toll, and I just can’t care. I feel like I have nothing, not even one more duck, left to give. Zero ducks. 

But here’s the truth: we are not failures because we are depleted. It is not the end of the world when we come to the very end of ourselves. We’re not judged for what we feel and think when we’ve hit rock bottom, and we’re not alone. Truly, we are being held, even there. Gods compassion is never exhausted, and He will not shame us for the ways we are coping. 

If you need to cry out, or just cry, you’re welcome. If you need someone to see and acknowledge your struggle, we’re here. You are not alone.