escape

Is there a limit to the number of times you can come to the very end of yourself?

Asking for... myself.

You know what you really can’t do in a global pandemic mixed with national unrest?

You can’t get away from it.

You can’t take a break.

There is literally nowhere you can go on God’s green earth where it won’t affect you.

I feel like I am trapped, and my reserves have been exhausted... except this perverse little part of me that says “No, Girl! Get your crap together, steel your resolve, and try HARDER.”

And that voice sounds plausible, because there are good and important and worthwhile things I can do right now to improve my state of being and my resilience, but at this moment I cannot. try. effing. harder.

I need to go and have a good cry and then a nap in Jesus’ arms, because when it comes right down to it, the 'rona does not have a corner on the market of being everywhere at all times like Jesus does.

Not even close.

And I know that I can tattle to Him on that perverse little voice that tells me to “just try harder” (pls read in the mockingest voice you can muster), and He will instead do the heavy lifting, empowering me to go about my life and duties with an equanimity- and dare I say JOY- that I am not capable of under my own power.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139:7-10

...for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13