Fall Cleaning

and a New Year Resolutions check-in.

At the beginning of the year I was contemplating the things I wanted to resolve in 2023 – as in, things I wanted to bring to a close.

Usually we’ll imagine the new person we want to be and all of the things that new person will (or won’t) say and do and eat and wear. We’ll try to change who we are by tweaking our behavior, adding this and subtracting that, and we call these behavior modifications New Year Resolutions.

It seems sometimes that we make resolutions in the hopes that we’ll stumble across some magical source of will-power that will override our inability to effect change in our lives.

If we could just resolve strongly enough! We could have our dream life or body or relationship!

But I think the deeper thing that we want is growth, whether we’re conscious of that word in relation to resolutions or not.

But growth can’t take place where there isn’t space. So my resolution for the year was to go after the stuff sitting around in my life, my mind, and my heart that were taking up precious square footage with their old, broken, too small, less-than-healthy, less-than-authentic, energy-draining selves, and end them.

It’s been a LOT of work, and a lot of that work was very uncomfortable. As I started to look at my values and recognize which were my own and which were bestowed or shoulded on me by others, I had to have a lot of come-to-Jesus moments with my fears and stagnant, limiting beliefs. Confrontation is less than fun, and having to confront yourself, and more truthfully your not self, can be really scary, but the liberation is worth it.

All those things I was so used to, all those beliefs and behaviors that were normal… it turns out that very few of them were accurate reflections of the truth of who I am. If I wanted something not just new, but bigger and better and more wholly aligned with the truth of myself, I needed to clear a bunch of stuff out and do some restructuring to create a vessel that has as much integrity as possible to receive and hold and sustain it.

I’m so pleased with how it’s been going. Some things got taken care of pretty quickly, and others are taking more time, and learning how to allow them their own time and space is its own process, boy howdy, but it’s still good. But now I’m much more in the practice of knowing what does and doesn’t support my values and well-being, and every time I make a decision accordingly I cultivate a more trusting relationship with myself, instead of one of self-betrayal and abandonment.

How are you doing with your resolutions and resolve-ings? If you’ve been working on these things, too, I hope you feel proud of your commitment, and hopeful about your progress. If something in you wants to start this work, but you’re afraid of the discomfort and the unknown, then I am cheering for you and praying for your courage. You’re worthy of a life that reflects the wholeness of you.

❤️ Faith