Georgia, Georgia...

 ...just an old, sweet song
keeps Georgia on my mind...

Have you ever done something that you never– not in a million years– would have done had it not been for your child asking you to do it? 

Ben and I fell into this parenting trope a year ago when our second son said out of the blue, "Mom, I want an animal of my own to love and take care of... like a dog or a hamster." 

Heart = puddle.

My little J has not had the easiest existence. It's been tough sledding for us all as we dealt with what seemed like his distinct lack of self-confidence (maybe a third-child thing?), strong discomfort with large groups of people, a short temper, and rather explosive reactions. Just before he turned 6 we realized that he was very likely dealing with Sensory Processing Disorder, which seemed to answer so many questions, and we worked on adjusting. A few months later J was able to explain to me that his legs felt "fizzy." What? Fizzy legs? And it mostly happens at night when he's trying to go to sleep? What could that be?? It turns out that that could be Restless Leg Syndrome, and from what I've learned about the chronic physical discomfort and disrupted sleep it comes with, RLS could possibly be the real culprit behind all the other issues this poor boy has been dealing with. 

Now back to the pet thing. Our little family has never had an indoor pet, though we've had some good relationships with outdoor cats that come and go. Ben is actually the one the cats talk into feeding them. They seem to know that deep down he's a cat lady... but he's also allergic to them, which is, of course, a perfect natural boundary for keeping them from coming in. I think this is a great system. I really enjoy not having any extra critters to take care of, or to figure out what to do with when we are going out of town. Though we'd talked once in a while about getting a dog or a rodent for the kids, we had always decided against it for the above reasons; and, in the case of a dog, the fact that neither of us has ever had one. Crazy, right? Growing up, Ben's family never had pets, and my family had cats and rodents and birds (oh my!). As far as I was concerned, I was perfectly happy with other people having dogs that I could just visit once in a while. That was enough.

But now what were we going to do? Were we going to take a serious look at the pet thing? At the dog thing??

Yes. Yes we were.

Between a hamster and a dog, it seemed like a dog would actually probably be the better choice for our family. I think it was preferable to both me and Ben to have a critter big enough to frolic with our four kids, as well as stick up for itself against them. Also, we hoped that for J in particular, having a good relationship with a dog could help him to overcome some anxiety, give him a chance to take care of something that needed and loved him back, and help build his resilience and confidence. Pet relationships can be so good for us in all kinds of ways. 

Unbeknownst to the kids, we started looking at available dogs on petfinder.com, and talking about what it would be like to have a dog in our family. Then one Tuesday night as Ben and I were scrolling through petfinder, we saw this adorable face:

Awwwwwwwwww!

We clicked on her bio: Georgia, a 2yo Australian Shepherd/St. Bernard mix, in a shelter an hour and a half away. We researched those breeds and liked what we saw, and I told Ben I thought she was the one. It was after shelter hours, so we decided he'd call in the morning as soon as they opened to ask about her, and if she was available and sounded like a good fit for us, we'd all make the trip to meet her.

At dinner that night we told the kids, and we learned what excitement was.

Wednesday morning the chillins were straight up buzzing, and they spent the morning singing The Final Countdown while waiting for the shelter to open and their daddy to call. Shortly after 10 I got the "let's go" text from Ben, and off we went. They buzzed the entire ride there. We met Georgia in the shelter's atrium. We were all nervous, I think, and Georgia was a little reserved, but we warmed to each other well after a little time. She was so pretty and sooooo soft, and when she realized she was coming home with us, she was as excited as the children. Georgia was in heaven on the ride home, which she spent sitting on our oldest son's lap and licking his whole face. She loved us, and we loved her, and we thought this must be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

But. The next 24 hr stretch saw a lot of tension anxiety as Georgia started getting a little aggressive toward J and some of his behavioral idiosyncrasies– she would lunge and nip at him. What the heck? Does she think he's her sheep and that she needs to keep him in line? We were concerned. The day after bringing her home, J and L (our youngest) were having a tussle and ran into the side of her kennel, which Georgia was occupying at the time. She came out, guns a-blazin', and nipped J a good one on the rear. 

Ugh. This seemed to be the exact opposite of the fear-overcoming experience we hoped it would be.

J and Georgia obviously had a very anxious relationship at this point, and poor J was afraid, and also angry at her. Ben called the shelter to ask for some advice about what to do. They listened to him describe the situation, and advised us to return her. I was sick about it. I was fairly convinced that she was stressed because of a great amount of transition in a short period of time, having been brought to the shelter in the first place for not getting along with her sister, being adopted by another family for an entire week and then brought back, and then being adopted by us two days later. Her poor fluffy head was probably spinning, and I thought what she really needed was a family willing to stick it out with ample patience and good boundaries to help her acclimate. 

Ben, on the other hand, had really been affected by J's fear and the general anxiety of the situation and was not okay. He did some more research and found that Aussies will tend to find the weakest sheep in their flock and dominate them, and the lightbulb went on– Georgia was bullying J because he's a pretty anxious child.

There we had it. Our first effort in this journey seemed to be a dud. There didn't seem to be any hope for changing their relationship after Georgia had given us this proof of her aggression. Wow, was this sad and painful. Ben said he would probably take her back to the shelter on Friday afternoon while I was at work, and I went to bed believing he would. It was a sad sleep.

Friday morning brought a change of heart, though: Ben told me he'd been praying during the night, and realized that he was being dictated to by the very fear and anxiety that we were hoping to work through and overcome in the first place. He told me he wanted to be patient with Georgia, creating the firm boundaries and cultivating the attitudes we would need to have a healthy relationship with her. 

Whew. We'd made it through the first hurdle... and then something beautiful happened.

Friday morning I had Georgia locked in her kennel while the kids and I were getting ready to leave the house, Ben having already left earlier that morning. My kids were sitting in the living room near her, and she, so rudely, barked at them. J ran into the kitchen, upset, and asked "why does she just bark at me all the time?!" I told him that she thought he was the most scared, and so she was bullying him. J was incensed. He turned and marched right back up to her kennel and said "I am NOT scared of you Georgia, and you can't treat me that way!" And she barked. 

But I was so proud. 

That was a year ago. Ever since then, we've been on an upward trajectory. Johnny has found his self-respect and confidence, and Georgia has found her own place in a family that adores her and won't put up with any of her nonsense. There have been no more nips. J tells Georgia frequently that he loves her, and she is very tolerant of his rather rowdy snuggles. It feels like a miracle to me, and while I may not fully be a dog person yet, I am most definitely a Georgia person.

The dog and her boy