I Am Resolving...

Seneca, Semisonic
Where are you at with New Year's resolutions for 2023? Have you made some? Have you maybe broken some already?
I know fresh starts are extremely attractive to the part of me that thrives on inspiration and dreaming of the future... and on the more negative side, the part of me that copes by escapism. If I could just drop all this *gestures helplessly at the heaps of current nonsense and overwhelm* and start over, keeping everything I've learned, that'd be great. I could be so resolute in my dream scenario, I'm sure of it!
Actually what I'm pondering right now is not the goal-oriented, behavior-modifying definition of resolution. I’m not dreaming of new beginnings (momentarily, at least), I’m chewing on the idea of resolution as the act of closure – of bringing things to their end.
What are you going to resolve this year? Are there projects, situations, or relationships that have been dragging on long past their freshness date? What’s been keeping you from resolving these things?
I can tend to be a procrastinator, often because I dread the amount of time I think a project is going to take, but of course when I finally commit and just do the dang thing it takes all of fifteen minutes.
Micro-barriers are another reason for my procrastinating tendencies. In order to do The Thing™️, I’d first need to locate this or dig out that or ask so-and-so. Ugh, too many steps, no thanks.
In other situations or relationships, it’s the fear that holds me back: fear of the unknown, fear of being seen as a quitter, fear of doing the wrong thing, fear of what people will think, fear of hurting another’s feelings, fear of my own discomfort. Do any of those resonate with you?
Now if I’m dealing with a situation that needs to be resolved, it’s likely already uncomfortable, but the question is “am I uncomfortable enough to do something about it?” And what I’ve noticed about myself, and about humans in general, is that we will tolerate an awful lot of chronic discomfort in order to avoid creating acute events that are often guaranteed to, at least initially, fling us into a world of unknowns that we can’t control, with only our uncomfortable feelings as company. It seems like the biggest motivator to cause us to take that kind of action is desperation, and while desperation is a valid, and usually necessary, way to resolution (i.e. “I can’t live like this any more!”), it doesn’t have to work alone. I mean, sometimes we just need to quit the toxic job asap, but sometimes there can be a little more forethought (ex: “I can’t live like this any more, and I won’t. I’ve taken a look at my options, and here’s what I’m going to do.”). We might even come to the point where we enter a new beginning with the end in mind – not morbidly planning it or waiting for it, but in being aware of the life or duration of a thing, and being purposeful in the way we treat it, or other people, or ourselves, from start to finish.
In a world where beginnings seem to be everything, where starting has attained a level of virtuousness almost amounting to sainthood, can we allow ourselves to imagine endings? There is so much to be said for finishing strong, whether it’s finishing the fifteen-minute project we put off for six months, or saying goodbye to the beliefs, attitudes, places, things, or people which we've outgrown, or that have made it clear that they aren’t contributors to our whole-self wellness. We can be intentional, we can be kind, we can repair what needs repairing and goodbye what needs goodbye-ing, we can grieve, we can rejoice, and we can be hopeful that every ending is never just the end. It’s the birthplace of the new.