A share from the archives
I've realized something that happens in my life – I abandon myself.
I often struggle to show up for my basic necessities (going to bed when I need to, eating breakfast, moving my body) as well as my soul necessities (alone time, reading, writing, playing music).
Some part of me believes that these acts of self-care won't make any difference, that they're not worth it, that even if I try I'll only be interrupted (hello, kids). Because of these lousy habits and the resulting deficits (stressed body systems, perceived lack of purpose and fulfillment), I low-key, chronically resent myself, and then resent the people I have to show up and care for daily (...hello, kids. And husband.)
This is a toxic system.
Looking at at the words "you shall love your neighbor as yourself," I suddenly see something new.
If I take notice of what really goes on with my attitude under the surface when I'm called upon to love my neighbor (family or otherwise), I gain some strong insight into how well I've been loving myself. Do I immediately feel resentful or put upon? Or do I feel willing and eager to give? What does my answer tell me about how I’ve been treating my own boundaries?
This year a lot of the work I'm doing is focused on rooting out the lies of worthlessness and futility in my life that result in self-abdication, learning how to commit to practicing the self-care that will cultivate my own growth and health, and empower me to support the growth and health of my family and neighbor. Change has begun, and I am watching it unfold.
Self-care matters. Self-respect matters. It makes a difference that reaches farther than we can guess. You are worth showing up for, which is why I ask with obnoxious frequency: how are you taking care of yourself this week?
"'...you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.'” Mark 12:30-31
"Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress." 1 Timothy 4:14-15